


Bittersweet

by jeffersinning



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters: X & Y | Pokemon X & Y Versions
Genre: Absentee Fathers, Childhood Trauma, Dealing With Loss, Mostly Canon Compliant, loss of parent, mentions of possible eating disorders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:27:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27799210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeffersinning/pseuds/jeffersinning
Summary: With Clemont training for his upcoming match with Ash back in Lumiose City, Bonnie confides in Serena about something that she usually only talks to her big brother about.
Relationships: Citron | Clemont & Eureka | Bonnie, Eureka | Bonnie & Serena, No Romantic Relationship(s), no ships just platonic pain
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warnings: discussions pertaining to loss of parents, through both separation or death. no canon characters actually die in this. exploration of trauma related to loss and slight mentions of possible eating disorders. 
> 
> supposed to fit in between the kalos power plant episode and before ash, serena and bonnie return to lumiose city to meet up w clemont again.

The campfire crackled as Serena put away the last few dishes. Ever since Clemont went ahead to Lumiose City to prepare for he and Ash’s upcoming gym match, she had assumed the roles of Clemont. She supposed she had never fully appreciated how much the inventor did to keep their travels running smoothly. Ash had gone to sleep early that night, saying something about getting a good night’s rest so he could be up early in the morning to start his training.

Bonnie had been quieter than usual at dinner, but Serena had attributed that to the fact that she didn’t have her big brother to pick on. Aside from usual conversations about the day, Bonnie usually would either tease him about his failed inventions, lack of athletic ability or need for a wife to take care of him at least once during their meals. It was always in good spirit though— they’d all laugh about it after. Sometimes Serena envied how close the two siblings were.

The younger girl had retired to their shared tent, likely brushing Dedenne and getting ready for another nightly round of Pokémon imitations. Serena hummed to herself as she collapsed their folding tables and chairs, taking a glance at their cleaned-up campsite before turning to go to their tent.

Bonnie was curled up in her sleeping bag. Something seemed off though, as the blonde wasn’t her usual cheerful self, instead mindlessly petting Dedenne as she stared off somberly in thought.

“Bonnie? Are you okay?” the older girl asked softly, removing her shoes and setting them aside. Serena climbed into her own sleeping bag, as they had already changed into their pyjamas earlier. She furrowed her eyebrows in concern at the usually excitable girl.

It took a minute for her to respond, blinking as she seemed to finally take notice of Serena. “Hm? Oh. Yeah I’m okay.”

It was an obvious lie, but Serena didn’t know what to do in this kind of situation. She mentally cursed that Clemont had left them— she was an only child, and her only experience dealing with younger children was really when she started travelling with Bonnie.

Bonnie whimpered and pulled her sleeping bag more over her mouth, and Dedenne expressed its concern for its keeper. Serena had never seen her so upset before.

“Bonnie? What’s the matter?” she tried to be gentle, but it came out more like she was reprimanding her. Said girl flinched, before taking a deep breath and sighing.

“Sorry,” Serena apologized quietly, bowing her head. “I’m not good at this kind of stuff.”

“Figures,” Bonnie muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes with enough sass for a week. “It’s fine, it’s just...”

She paused for a moment, chewing on her lip in contemplation. Serena had noticed that Clemont did the same thing when he couldn’t make a decision, or when he didn’t want to admit something.

“My mama passed away on this day, a long time ago,” she nearly whispered, mumbling through her sleeping bag so Serena barely understood. After, she immediately resumed petting Dedenne, as if she were trying to calm herself down.

Serena didn’t know what to say. She had made some assumptions based on the absence of a mother figure when they had spent time with Clemont and Bonnie’s father in Lumiose City. She’d noticed a few family photos in their apartment that had a blonde woman in them, but hadn’t wanted to pry.

It all made sense now though. How readily Bonnie was to accept Serena as an older female figure in her life. How she had a fixation on ensuring that her brother had a wife to take care of him. Her extreme reaction to when she lost Dedenne. The close bond between the two siblings. Clemont’s sometimes almost parent-like relationship with Bonnie. How he was always so protective and caring of her.

Bonnie hiccuped, falling into shudders and sobs. She pulled her sleeping bag around her tighter and buried her face into Dedenne’s small body.

“I-I’m sorry,” she choked out, sniffling after, making Serena’s heart break. Serena scooted over in the tent to get closer to Bonnie, pulling her into a kind of cuddle-embrace. The younger girl wrapped her arms around Serena, hugging her tight.

“You don’t have to be sorry that you’re sad,” she said gently, rubbing circles into her back.

Bonnie whimpered, blinking away some of her tears. Serena could only imagine how hard this had been on Bonnie— on the whole family if it had happened years ago like she said.

“Usually Clemont says stuff that makes me feel better but he’s not here now and I’m making you do that.”

Serena wondered if Clemont was going through the same thing right now. Maybe he was with his father, or maybe he holed himself up in his workshop. He was probably worrying about Bonnie now too.

“Bonnie, don’t worry about it. I may not be able to really understand how you feel, but I’m here for you if you need to talk about it.”

The younger girl nodded, releasing Serena from her embrace. She wiped her eyes with her sleeves, taking a deep, shuddery breath.

“I was really little when it happened,” she began to recount. “I don’t remember much, but it was soon after Clemont graduated from the academy.”

Serena didn’t know how long ago that was, but judging from how Bonnie was talking about it and how Clemont and Éclairisse talked about the academy, it had to be at least five or so years ago.

“Clemont said that mama had been seeing a lot of doctors, but then one day she had to go to the hospital. She was there for a long time until she...”

Bonnie couldn’t finish her sentence before she was in tears again. Serena didn’t need to hear the end to know how the story went. Dedenne nuzzled Bonnie closer with the back of his head so he wouldn’t shock his keeper.

Serena hadn’t grown up with a father, but from what her mom said about her father, she was glad she hadn’t. That made it a lot different from Clemont and Bonnie’s situation— it seemed like they had both been very close to their mother.

An idea popped into her mind, and she jumped up out of her sleeping bag to dig around her backpack. Retrieving her map, she opened it, looking for the nearest Pokémon Center.

They weren’t that far away. It would be maybe an hour walk. It wasn’t that late though, and Bonnie needed this. Serena went to grab her shoes.

“Bonnie, I have a surprise, but it’s going to take a while until you’ll know what it is.”

Said girl looked over at Serena with tearful, questioning eyes before nodding and getting her own shoes. They didn’t bother changing into clothes before Serena slung her backpack onto her back and they set off away from the campsite.

“What are all of the happy memories you had with your mom?” Serena asked, hoping she wasn’t prying too much. Bonnie seemed slightly better, the impending surprise, the activity, and the fresh air doing wonders for her.

“Uhh, well there was this one time she was baking cookies, and they were almost done but then the fire alarm in our apartment went off.”

Bonnie giggled, seemingly recalling the ending of the story. “My big brother set off the fire alarm with one of his failed inventions, and while we were waiting for the fire department to clean up his mess, they came down with the finished tray of cookies. They were perfect! Right out of the oven.”

“Oh! One time mama was having a gym battle with a trainer and she lost but Clemont was clapping so loudly and really excited about it. Turns out the entire time he thought the challenger was mama! After that he got glasses,” she laughed at the nostalgic moment. Serena was happy to see Bonnie smiling and laughing again.

The two walked for nearly an hour, the entire time Bonnie recounting the happy memories she had of her family. If anything, all of her stories only reinforced the fact that they were very close, and Clemont cared dearly about his little sister.

They also revealed that he had taken on a lot of the roles that their mom used to fill. It explained why he knew so much about cooking, laundry, cleaning and even occasionally acted more like a parent to Bonnie than an older brother. Though Bonnie said only good things about her family, it sounded like their father left the two siblings to their own devices a lot more after their mother’s death, and was sometimes absent when they needed an adult figure. Clemont wasn’t that much older than Bonnie, and even though he was intelligent beyond his years, he was lacking in the wisdom and experience that came with age. A lot of the issues they had (that caused these humorous incidents) could have been easily resolved if their father had been around.

Serena hadn’t put much thought into how a lack of a father figure affected her life. Despite their differences, she was still close to her mom, and had never felt that weird about not having her dad around. The two of them managed well, especially since his absence was not on good terms.

Past all the anger at the situation, Serena still wondered why her dad left, and it mostly just made her sad. Was it her fault? Would there have been something she could’ve done to make him want to become a better person and stay? She knew that it was a lost cause for the most part, but it didn’t stop her from wondering.

She wondered if Ash had similar feelings about his father.

Meyer’s absence was more likely related to mourning than anything. And even then, it didn’t seem to really affect the two siblings. It was mostly the mother’s death that affected the family.

The Pokémon Center finally came into view as the moon was high in the sky. The soft glow of the warm lights from inside the Pokémon Center welcomed them as a tired Nurse Joy looked up from her phone at the front desk. It must have been a slow night.

“Oh pardon me, is there something I can help you two with? Is everything okay?”

Serena nodded, realizing how odd they probably looked, showing up at a Pokémon Center past midnight in pajamas. The two walked up to the front desk, and Bonnie stood on her tippy toes to see over.

“Everything‘s fine, sorry for worrying you,” Serena apologized. “We were just wondering if we could use the kitchen. I know it’s late, but I just remembered I had to make something for tomorrow morning...”

It wasn’t entirely a lie, and it wasn’t that odd of a request. Luckily, Nurse Joy didn’t seem to mind and directed them to the communal kitchen. Pokémon Centers had a pretty complete kitchen, with everything you’d ever need to make something, as well as a good variety of ingredients. Serena began gathering supplies and ingredients as Bonnie pulled over a stool and stood on it at the center island.

“What are we making?” she asked, watching the older girl pause to think of something before heading for a cabinet.

“It’s a surprise,” Serena asserted, but Bonnie rolled her eyes.

“I’m gonna have to know what you’re making if I’m gonna help.”

Serena pulled out a flour sifter from the cabinet, setting it on the island. “Not true,” she said, grabbing more ingredients.

Baking while sleep deprived is usually not a good idea, but Serena knew that Bonnie loved baking with her and she also liked eating the result even more. It was the best thing she could think of to cheer up the younger girl on such a hard day. After a hard day, she supposed — it was after midnight now.

It took a couple of hours, but the result was quite literally, sweet. Seeing Bonnie’s eyes light up as she took a bite of the fresh lemon-cream macarons made it all worth it. The two packed up and cleaned everything, waving goodbye to Nurse Joy. They began heading back to their campsite as the sun started to creep over the horizon.

“Thank you Serena,” Bonnie said, looking up at the taller girl as they walked back. “Clemont says it’s not good to eat because you’re sad but baking with you did make me feel better and that’s different.”

The comment caught her off-guard. It made sense, coping with food was not the healthiest thing to do. Serena did do a lot of stress baking in the past, but she never ended up finishing eating anything she made. Had she went against what Clemont had been teaching Bonnie though? Did she have an unhealthy relationship with food?

“Talking to you really helped too! There are so many good things that happened that I forgot about. I shouldn’t be so sad— anyways, it’s already another day!” she said with a laugh, grinning up at the other girl.

By the time they got back to the campsite, the sun was already rising. Any other day, Serena would’ve lay awake, worried about whether what she had said and done to Bonnie was right or not, but she was so exhausted that she fell asleep almost immediately.

Minutes later, a certain someone woke up for special training and wondered why it smelled like lemon macarons in the middle of the forest.

**Author's Note:**

> man i meant for this to be a happy ending but after doing more research on loss and childhood i realized that it would be more realistic to have trauma be unintentionally passed on. i’ve always had the headcanon that serena’s dad left her and her mom but after reading about what growing up w an absentee father is like it definitely seems like it could’ve been a real issue for her whether the writers intended the coincidence or not. like it’s a kids show but they did kill clembot so exploring darker themes is not off the radar. idk exactly what it’s like to have a parent leave u or have a parent die when you’re young so most of this is research and speculation based on everyone’s characters. 
> 
> as much as they’re different like tropes (lol... geek and chic), clemont and serena are still really similar in terms of their insecurities, shyness, lack of self-confidence, etc. really wish the show had them interact more. the ep when serena asked him to the performer gala thing or whatever was hilarious tho. same with wishing they showed more about clemont and bonnie’s relationship bc it’s like one of my fav non-romantic ones in the series
> 
> anyways thanks for reading lol i’m always looking for more feels content w the lumiose siblings and i had this sitting in my notes basically done and decided to finally finish it lol. i actually stopped writing at some point before serena revealed her surprise for bonnie and had no clue what i had initially been planning for the surprise so i made something up


End file.
